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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Comparison Kills

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel.” -Steven Furtick


In early recovery (truthfully-anyone at any time) it can be easy to get caught in the trap of comparison. If you think about it, someone coming out of addiction can’t possibly know their personal and unique identity.


It is hard for the mind saturated in substance abuse to truly know who they are and what their purpose in life is. Coming out of the dark spiritual and mental cloud of addiction and stepping into the Light of recovery is an adventurous process, here are some tips and insights to steer clear of the depressing trap of comparison.


The Automobile Analogy


In the same way that there are no two people on the entire planet with the exact same fingerprint, there are no two people on the planet that are created to look the same, be the same, and act the exact same.


Try looking at it this way. Say you drive a Ford Mustang, that’s a great car. Now say you’re driving down the street and you see a diesel truck carrying a huge load. So you think to yourself, “I want to be able to carry that much stuff around on my vehicle.”


You then load your car with a massive load packed in the trunk and on top and fill the inside, of course, it ruins your interior and overall structural integrity of your car.


Comparing yourself to someone else is no different. Your purpose and life (your vehicle) have not been created to do what someone else’s has. Yes, we can draw experience, strength, and hope from someone else. And we can learn from how they did things. But are you learning from them, or trying to be them? Get to know your vehicle, and how to drive it.


Social Media


The trap of social media can be a deadly one. If we have undealt with jealous and envy issues, social media can and will be a pitt of emotional quicksand that can suck you into depression and confusion quickly.


We sit at home after work and browse social media only to see someone out to eat with friends, on vacation, or out having fun and start to think, “Why didn’t they invite me? I wish I had enough money to do that...Why don’t my friends call me to do something fun?”


And