• Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Learning to Expect Good

Updated: Oct 20

I believe it's normal and healthy to expect good things.

Deep down I think most people expect good for themselves, until the world throws some bad stuff their way. We should always be believing for good coming our way, but I think that hope for good can begin to drift when we experience enough bad.

Is there a way to change this? My experience tells me, yes.

I feel it’s safe to say that most people coming out of addiction and into recovery have struggled with having a controlling mentality.

I certainly did. Because I experienced so much bad in my life, I thought the only way to bring good out of a situation was if I some how controlled the outcome to my favor.

Addiction driven mentalities don’t just warp the psyche (soul and spirit), but it also leaves a lingering residue in our thinking and actions. One of the joys of my recovery has been learning how to live in a space of expecting good things to happen as a result of my hard work, but learning to lose the expectation of how I think these good things have to happen.

Expectation is a deceitful acquaintance that masquerades as a friend.

Imagine a friend whose goal is to continually trick you into thinking that things should always go the way you think they should go. And while this phony friend tricks you they ingrain an intensely counterproductive mode of operation into your psyche called the “victim mentality.”

This is what the fake friend called expectation does to us.

By the time someone has allowed expectation to sink its teeth into their mind there is a good chance that the roots of entitlement have also sunk deep into the soil of their heart. This divisive stance then brings us a false sense of superiority and as a result the finger pointing and accusing others of our problems is a byproduct, ultimately positioning oneself for isolation and unhealthy relationships.

So you may be asking, how then do we go about expecting good things?

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