Why?
It's a great question. But why is asking "why" a great question?
I've worked with hundreds of clients through my coaching practice over the course of 7yrs, and asking the simple "why" question is one of my favorite questions to ask.
Why? Because it immediately changes the vantage point of the person being asked.
Asking the "why" question doesn't necessarily change what I am looking at, it changes how I am looking at it. It moves our perspective from the issue at hand into the perspective of, "How did I get to the issue at hand?"
In the midst of hearing hundreds of responses I observed something, many people can't tell you why they believe what they believe.
Here is the truth...they do know what they believe. They just haven't done the work of following the trail that the "why" question unveils because it's digging into the "why" question that leads us to the core of our beliefs. And what we believe steers our worldview, and the way we decide to engage with the world. Therefore, if we know what we believe and why we believe it we can begin to understand the "why" behind our actions.
Once people start to dig into the motives that lead to the action, I have seen time and time again that people's morales shift because they begin to understand that asking the "why" question helps them see their motives, and when we can honestly assess our motives we can begin to understand and change them.
3 Tips for asking the "why" question.
1- Process your "why" with a trusted friend and/or professional.
There are many people out there that mean well and have great hearts, but guiding someone through a process of understanding themselves at their core isn't necessarily their strong suit.
Find someone that's been through what you're trying to process, knows how to get past it, and knows how to live free from it. Seek help, just make sure it's the right help.
2- Do a lot of writing.
Multiple studies have revealed the many benefits of writing. Here is a good article on some of those benefits, "Pen, Paper, Power!"
Writing through the process will greatly enhance your ability to understand the "why" behind your motives.
3- Be patient, it took years to end up where you are now. It's not all going to change overnight, even if you put the time in and do it honestly.
It won't take years to get clarity and answers if you're truly engaged in the process, I've seen people's lives change dramatically in weeks or months of doing the work, but it won't happen overnight. Be patient and stay engaged.
Having trouble finding hope and strength to begin the journey that you know you need to go on? Here is some hope-filled content to encourage you.
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