Make sure you continue to ask yourself the "WHY" question.

Why?

It's a great question. But why is asking "why" a great question?

I've worked with hundreds of clients through my coaching practice over the course of 7yrs, and asking the simple "why" question is one of my favorite questions to ask.

Why? Because it immediately changes the vantage point of the person being asked.

Asking the "why" question doesn't necessarily change what I am looking at, it changes how I am looking at it. It moves our perspective from the issue at hand into the perspective of, "How did I get to the issue at hand?"

In the midst of hearing hundreds of responses I observed something, many people can't tell you why they believe what they believe.

Here is the truth...they do know what they believe. They just haven't done the work of following the trail that the "why" question unveils because it's digging into the "why" question that leads us to the core of our beliefs. And what we believe steers our worldview, and the way we decide to engage with the world. Therefore, if we know what we believe and why we believe it we can begin to understand the "why" behind our actions.

Once people start to dig into the motives that lead to the action, I have seen time and time again that people's morales shift because they begin to understand that asking the "why" question helps them see their motives, and when we can honestly assess our motives we can begin to understand and change them.

3 Tips for asking the "why" question.

1- Process your "why" with a trusted friend and/or professional.

There are many people out there that mean well and have great hearts, but guiding someone through a process of understanding themselves at their core isn't necessarily their strong suit.

Find someone that's been through what you're trying to process, knows how to get past it, and knows how to live free from it. Seek help, just make sure it's the right help.

2- Do a lot of writing.

Multiple studies have revealed the many benefits of writing. Here is a good article on some of those benefits, "Pen, Paper, Power!"

Writing through the process will greatly enhance your ability to understand the "why" behind your motives.

3- Be patient, it took years to end up where you are now. It's not all going to change overnight, even if you put the time in and do it honestly.

It won't take years to get clarity and answers if you're truly engaged in the process, I've seen people's lives change dramatically in weeks or months of doing the work, but it won't happen overnight. Be patient and stay engaged.

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Having trouble finding hope and strength to begin the journey that you know you need to go on? Here is some hope-filled content to encourage you.

1- Surrendering to Victory - VIDEO

2- Is Fear or Faith motivating you? - VIDEO

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What is Recovery Coaching?

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"I relapsed, now what?"

Relapse does not have to be part of your story.

Relapse can, unfortunately, be common with some people in recovery, but you don't have to buy into the thinking that you're going to relapse at some point.

Over 11 yrs into my recovery journey and after helping hundreds of people get clean and sober I have identified two time periods when people most often relapse. The first is obvious, it's early recovery.

Years of active addiction put us on a course of creating and avoiding problems.

That and the fact that changing from active addiction into healthy recovery is hard enough by itself and it can sometimes feel like the perfect storm. But no matter the mess someone has created, recovery is possible and the choice to recover is always the best one.

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Struggling to step into recovery, and stay in recovery? Check out this amazing story of a friend of ours stepping into recovery after decades of active addiction.

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The second time that I see people relapse is a not-so-obvious one, and that is when life gets good again. When life gets good again we can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking, "I got my life back in order. I can manage my drinking and using now."

Let's say you fall into one of these categories and you've relapsed, first of all, it's OK. I'm not condoning a relapse, but you are still loved and recovery is still worth it. Also, know this...you may have lost your sobriety date but you didn't lose the experience you gained.

If you're really ready to change, take accountability and responsibility as fast as you can. The sooner you face it, the sooner you get past it. Admit your wrongs and start getting back to what you know works.

One of the biggest things I emphasize with my clients when it comes to relapse prevention, or what to do if you relapsed, is the importance of daily habits and discipline.

Just about every time I talk with someone that has relapsed I ask them what their daily spiritual fitness was like and almost always they admit that it was few and far between, or nonexistent.

If you feel yourself in a bit of shape, spiritually speaking, the best way I have found to get back into clear thinking and actions is by getting back to the daily disciplines of reading, writing, praying, and talking with people in recovery.

So you might have relapsed, but you don't have to dig that hole deeper. Rock bottom is simple, it's where you decide to stop digging. Call someone and admit what's going on, and start getting back into spiritual shape today.

And remember this...

God loves you, forgives you, and wants you to be happy even more than you do. He is on your side. He is the best partner you'll ever have, and remember, "No one that matters is keeping track of your failures." - Mike Maeshiro

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What is Recovery Coaching?

Join the thousands of people that have gone through our FREE YouVersion Devotional, "Freedom from Addiction" - JOIN HERE

If you, or a loved one, is struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction please set up a time to connect with us. We have been coaching people into freedom from addiction for over 8yrs now. Let's talk... - text or call - 619-880-6935

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From Hopeless to Hope Dealer

For those caught in the struggle.

I’ve lived in my car, and my copilot was alcohol and drugs.

Even a couple of years into my recovery journey I would still get nervous when cops were behind me because my mind carried a residue of fear after living in active addiction for over a decade.

I stared down the barrel of a gun that I was holding contemplating if life was worth living. This sad reality happened more than once.

I’ve had multiple active warrants out for my arrest all at the same time. I don't miss living in that fear.

I’ve gone a couple of days without food because I used my last dollars for gas in the car.

And I thought that was how life was supposed to be lived.

I know what it’s like to hide in a dark room and pull a blanket over my head afraid of people and the sunlight. My heart still goes out to people trapped in this dark reality.

BUT THEN GOD CAME ON THE SCENE...

I also know what it’s like to have all my legal consequences wiped clean in a day. Only the grace of God could do that!

I also know what it’s like to be used by God to stop someone else from suicide while they were holding a noose. From hopeless, to hope dealer...only God can do that.

I also know what it’s like to live over a decade drug and alcohol-free. When God enters the scene so does real freedom.

I also know what it’s like to love people so much that I chase them down on the street to pray for them sometimes. Once you experience His love, you become possessed to give it away.

I also know the unspeakable joy of being a husband and father. A true gift.

I also know what it’s like to know God, not just know about Him, but know Him.

There is a BIG difference. Knowing Him is the joy of my life.

No matter how low you’ve gone, God can RADICALLY transform your life. As a matter of fact, it’s what He’s best at.

Give God an inch, and He will give you a mile.

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Join the thousands of people that have gone through our FREE YouVersion Devotional, "Freedom from Addiction" - JOIN HERE

If you, or a loved one, is struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction please set up a time to connect with us. We have been coaching people into freedom from addiction for over 8yrs now. Let's talk... - text or call - 619-880-6935

Follow us here -

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