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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Updated: 3 days ago

Have you ever found old food that has been left out somewhere in a dark place in your house or garage? Even the thought of it makes me say, "yuck."


The smell alone is atrocious. The mold growing on it has mold growing on it, and this dark germ infested Petri dish serves as a magnet for insects and rodents.


What if this picture of old moldy food in the natural realm is eerily similar to what is happening in the spiritual realm when someone is trapped in a porn addiction?


Let's set that possibility a side for just a moment, and first look at some sobering stats on America's issues with porn.

  • Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites

  • The porn industry’s annual revenue is more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC.

  • 47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home

  • Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%

  • 56% of American divorces involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites

  • 55% of married men and 25% of married women say they watch porn at least once a month -www.conquerseries.com


Now let's take a quick look at some of the physical issues that addiction to porn creates.


A porn addiction sets the mind into the addiction cycle.


"Studies show that actual brain function changes in someone who has an addiction - and the changes are the same in all addiction: alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Because pornography use can become an actual addiction, viewers are not able to stop through their own will power. Pornography addicts will need to engage in the same difficult recovery process a drug addict has to go through." -familytoday.com


In the same way that a tolerance to drugs and alcohol builds over time, so does an addiction to pornography.


Warning signs of a Porn addiction include, "Requiring increasing amounts or more explicit porn to gain the same satisfaction or thrill, similar to the development of a tolerance" -Projectknow.com


Drastically confuses what love, and real intimacy is.


"With pornography, we use sex as a substitute for nurture, intimacy, and love. Sex is no longer a wonderful source of connection between our deepest selves and a beloved partner; it becomes a commodity used to avoid intimacy and mask needs that should be met through human connections." -familytoday.com


Porn Addiction ruins your Libido.


"It’s only natural, then, that many people who use porn in the past, or who use porn in the present, have virtually no libido when it comes to making love to their spouse. The spouse is not what turns them on, and so the natural drive that we have for sex is transferred somewhere else." -tolovehonorandvacuum.com


This list could go on, but let's get back to the analogy of moldy food left in a dark place.


In multiple Gospel accounts Jesus was accused of being demon possessed. Part of the accusation was Jesus was partnered with Beelzebub. What? Who is Beelzebub?


Beelzebub is a word used in the Hebrew translated old testament, and the Greek translated new testament. The title is a name for Satan himself and can be translated as, Lord of the Flies.


What's the point? What does this have to do with a porn addiction?


What attracts flies?


These pests are common in unkept areas. Conditions that attract flies in and around homes include:

  • Garbage cans left uncovered.

  • Animal carcasses in the walls, attics, or elsewhere.

  • Manure or pet feces around yards.

  • Fermenting fruit on countertops.

  • Spilled soda and open containers of alcohol.

  • Scum at the bottom and coating the inside of drains. - Orkin.com


The reason a porn addiction has such terrible side effects is because we are openly feasting on old moldy infested food, spiritually speaking. When someone hides and subjects themselves to that spiritual reality, they open a door to be plagued by the Lord of Flies.


And the results of opening your spirit up to those flies, or demons, is destruction on personal lives and the personal lives of those around the person addicted to porn.


When hidden in the dark this spiritual sickness/addiction slowly eats away at us from the inside out and causes a ripple effect of damage to those around us.


The Good News in the midst of this?


There is a way out, and you can be free from this spiritual sickness. I was personally enslaved to an addiction to pornography for over 14 yrs, but roughly 10 yrs ago it ended. It ended when I had had enough, and I begin intentionally fighting it with accountability and prayer.


God wants to set those free that are locked into the spiritual chains of a pornography addiction, but they have to come out of hiding and walk in the Light.


If you or a loved one is struggling, let's talk. There is freedom, and it can start today.


If you or a loved one are having trouble getting or staying clean and sober, let's talk. We coach people from all over the world into healthy and sustainable recovery from drugs, alcohol, and pornography addictions. Recovery is worth it, and WE DO RECOVER!

Sign up for 7 days of FREE online Recovery coaching HERE


Contact us for Recovery Coaching or Speaking info@recoveringreality.com



  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

"I remember falling on my hands and knees in the crack house, and I called on God. I said, God if you spare me from this life I will do your will for the rest of my life," that's what Derrick Jenkins said roughly 24 years ago in middle of the crack house.


It was a day later that a dealer gave Jenkins more dope and he said, "I didn't even want it. That night I prayed God took the taste out of my mouth." He didn't even desire drugs after that moment of surrender.


It was only a few days later Derrick was on a flight on his way to Orange County, CA heading to rehab. "That's where life really changed for me," the now Tuscarawas County Health Supervisor emphasized.


Born to two hard working parents and a big family in the Akron/Canton area of Northeast Ohio, Jenkins grew up going to church. He was a good athlete and hard worker, "I was responsible. I worked, went to school, I had my name in the paper. Good things happened to me, I was blessed," he explained about his upbringing.


But with drugs and alcohol abuse being prevalent in his neighborhood and siblings, addiction crept into his life as a young teenager. As life progressed so did his drug use, "22 years old I tried cocaine, man, and that was it. The fist time I snorted it...I was on cloud nine. From that point on I snorted it everyday."


His drug use provoked health issues as he recalls one night having such an intense seizure, "I thought I was not going to come out of it. I remember my father, he was at home, and he was calling my name. And it got to a point where it was faint." In that moment of fading out of reality and into possible death Derrick prayed, "God if you get me out of this, I won't do this no more. I remember opening my eyes and looking at my dad and he was frightened."


At 24 years old that incident scared him straight, for a short while. Shortly thereafter he got into dealing drugs. "I was making a lot of money," he recalls, but his conscious began eating at him. It still was not enough to get him to quit, yet.


At 25 years old he went from dealing crack cocaine, to smoking it. "I tried it one night, and it was over. I thought powder cocaine was it, but crack took me to another level," he candidly shared. Immediately crack cocaine took over his life, from 25 to 30 years old he was in and out of treatment every year.


He admits that his drug use took him to places he never thought imaginable, but he didn't know how to quit. He dug his "rock bottom" deeper and deeper and got to the point where he wished he would die, just so the insanity would stop.


Then he dropped to his knees and called on God in the dope house, from that night on everything changed.


He recalls arriving in California and going to five and six 12 step meetings a day for five to six months straight, and this foundation of recovery became his launching pad into the life he prayed for when he dropped to his knees months prior in the dope house.


He returned to "Grace Ave," the street he grew up on and worked on his recovery.


"I would run out of the house. Run three miles to a meeting and run three miles back, but when I got to an area where I used to use I would cross the street and run and that was my therapy. Even in the midst of the chaos I relied on God," Jenkins explained as he shared his experience, strength and hope.


He met his wife (whom he is still happily married to) in early recovery. The first years of his recovery things went as hoped for, but not without challenges. He lost his father and navigated marriage trying to make ends meet.


Then things changed dramatically one night when he got the call that his brother was murdered. "That night that happened, that phone call from my sister, that was the worst night of my life," Jenkins expressed.


As he went from the murder scene to the hospital trying to see his brother and find out if he was still alive he said, "At this point I have a relationship with God, and I'm praying."


His brother passed away that night, but Derrick stayed clean and sober.


"Being a man of God and understanding what a resentment will do to you...I had to pray for that person that shot and killed my brother. I had to ask God to give him what I would want for myself so that I could be free," was how Jenkins walked out his healing process after the worst night of his life.


"You determine to change your life and walk with God, He'll put people in your life that will help you," was some of the sound wisdom that he can calmly and confidently expressed now over two decades into his recovery journey. With gratitude he shared, "there's a lot of people that helped me."


He has now been married for 21 yrs, "I have two beautiful step sons and my son. Ten grand children and as you can see, a lot of love."


He now gives back to the community daily as a health educator. He was a counselor for 21 yrs. He has shared his story of hope around the world and, "I believe I'm a servant of God," Jenkins wanted to share.


Check out the full interview here - 14 mins


Addiction is a lonely and dangerous place, but if Derrick can do it anyone can!


We do recover!



If you or a loved one are having trouble getting or staying clean and sober, let's talk. We coach people from all over the world into healthy and sustainable recovery. Recovery is worth it, and WE DO RECOVER!


Sign up for 7 days of FREE online Recovery coaching HERE

Contact us for Recovery Coaching or Speaking info@recoveringreality.com



  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Imagine feeding your stomach nothing but junk food day after day after day.


You're in a hurry so you grab some fast food. You wash it down with a soda that is filled with sugar. Then for a snack in the afternoon you grab some processed food and coffee filled with cream and sugar.


You wake up the next day and you're feeling tired and foggy headed so you drink some extra caffeine and grab an easy and unhealthy breakfast on the go because you woke up late, and the cycle goes on forever...


This unhealthy diet lowers your energy levels, and slowly takes from your desire to be more active and social. The nutrient and vitamin lacking diet also begins to weaken your immune system leaving you more susceptible to sicknesses, and you slowly but surely experience a decline in your health.


With these habits would you have any reason to be shocked if your health was always in question?


Believe it or not our mental health is very similar.


Can you relate to this at all?


You get home from a busy day and want to relax so you binge watch a drama series on Netflix and fall asleep on the couch, only wake up in the middle of the night and drag yourself to your bed.


You wake up tired and hurry out the door only to fill your mind with the fear that the news pumps out on your way to work and your anxiety and stress have bubbled to the surface of your psyche before you even get to work.


When was the last time you sat down and thought about what you've been thinking about?


Without taking the time to feed our mind a healthy diet, we can't expect a healthy thought life.


We wouldn't cook up a dinner by throwing a whole bunch of random ingredients into a pot and shaking it up and sticking it in the oven. So why do we do that with the content that we feast on in our mind all the time?


For years I've worked with people from all walks of life through Life Coaching and Recovery Coaching, and for years I've used this analogy to paint the picture of the importance of our mental diet. Our mind is like our spiritual stomach, what it is we feast on will be digested through our words and actions.


"What are you thinking about" 20 min podcast from the Recovering Reality Podcast


When it comes to transformation I wholeheartedly believe that we need to change our thought life in order to change, but a change in thoughts won't get us far if it's not partnered with practical action steps. Here are some practical action steps to help you get the shift you've been wanting in your personal life.


1- Morning Routine


I can honestly sat that my morning routine has changed my life. For over 11 years the vast majority of mornings I get up before the sun and read, write, and pray. It gets my mind in the right place before I face whatever the day has for me.


"Jocko Willink is a former Navy SEAL commander who lead SEAL Team Three's Task Unit Bruiser during the height of the Iraq War....at 4:30 AM Willink heads straight to the gym for a grueling strength workout which lasts around one hour. He finishes his workout with a thirty minute jog, and jumps in the shower at approximately 6 a.m to get ready for the day ahead. It's this routine and consistency which he credits to his massive business success in life after the military."

INC.COM


I'm not suggesting that you have to have Jocko's routine in order to have any success in life, but the dreams in your heart aren't going to magically appear without consistency and hard work.


You may not want to wake up early and do my routine or Jocko's, but I can promise you that finding a morning routine and following it (regardless of how you fell) will add many benefits to your life.



2- Books, Movies, News, Music, etc...


It may not seem like a big deal, but the information we fill our minds with does become the filter through which we see the world. In early recovery I changed the music I listened to, the books I read, the movies I watched, and I stopped watching the news.


Here is a paragraph from an article written by Psychology Today titled, "The Psychological Effects of the TV News."


"If the TV program generates a negative mood (anxiety, sadness, anger, or disgust), these experiences will affect how you interpret events in your own life, what types of memories you recall, and how much you will worry about events in your own life."


If we look at our bodies and lives as a vehicle that we have been given to use for good or bad, than the information we fill our minds with is the fuel for our vehicle. If our vehicles are going to run at their prime we need fuel that promotes hope, not fear and anxiety.



3- Surround Yourself With People That Have What You Want In Life


"Show me your friends and I'll tell you your future."


How is it I'm supposed to learn a new way of living if I don't put myself around people that model that new way of living for me? I was told in early recovery to surround myself with people that have what I wanted in life, I did it, and it worked.


The same was true in my addiction.


I surrounded myself with people whose life was a mess, and my life quickly became a mess. I applied the same principle in recovery and my life quickly got better.


The environments we frequent and the people we hang with will draw strengths and weaknesses to the surface. When we position ourselves around people that want to draw the strength out of us, that strength will come to the surface.


Here is some final food for thought on #3.


Does your tribe want you to win?


Do your friends celebrate your successes, and encourage you when you get discouraged? If the tribe you run with doesn't do that, it might be time to find a tribe that wants you to succeed and shine.


________________


If you or a loved one are having trouble getting or staying clean and sober, let's talk. We coach people from all over the world into healthy and sustainable recovery. Recovery is worth it, and WE DO RECOVER!


Sign up for 7 days of FREE online Recovery coaching HERE


Contact us for Recovery Coaching or Speaking info@recoveringreality.com


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