• Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach


It's a great question. But why is asking "why" a great question?

I've worked with hundreds of clients through my coaching practice over the course of 7yrs, and asking the simple "why" question is one of my favorite questions to ask.

Why? Because it immediately changes the vantage point of the person being asked.

Asking the "why" question doesn't necessarily change what I am looking at, it changes how I am looking at it. It moves our perspective from the issue at hand into the perspective of, "How did I get to the issue at hand?"

In the midst of hearing hundreds of responses I observed something, many people can't tell you why they believe what they believe.

Here is the truth...they do know what they believe. They just haven't done the work of following the trail that the "why" question unveils, because it's digging into the "why" question that leads us to the core of our beliefs. And what we believe steers our worldview, and the way we decide to engage with the world. Therefore, if we know what we believe and why we believe it we can begin to understand the "why" behind our actions.

Once we start to dig into the motives that lead to the action, I have seen time and time again people's morale shift because they begin to understand that asking the "why" question helps them see their motives, and when we can honestly assess our motives we can begin to understand and change them.

3 Tips for asking the "why" question.

1- Process your "why" with a trusted friend and/or professional.

There are many people out there that mean well and have great hearts, but guiding someone through a process of understanding themselves at their core isn't necessarily their strong suit.

Find someone that's been through what you're trying to process, knows how to get past it, and knows how to live free from it. Seek help, just make sure it's the right help.

2- Do a lot of writing.

Multiple studies have revealed the many benefits of writing. Here is a good article on some of those benefits, "Pen, Paper, Power!"

Writing through the process will greatly enhance your ability to understand the "why" behind your motives.

3- Be patient, it took years to end up where you are now. It's not all going to change over night, even if you put the time in and do it honestly.

It won't take years to get clarity and answers if you're truly engaged in the process, I've seen people's lives change dramatically in weeks or months of doing the work, but it won't happen over night. Be patient and stay engaged.

Having trouble finding hope and strength to begin the journey that you know you need to go on? Here is some hope filled content to encourage you.

1- Surrendering to Victory - VIDEO

2- Is Fear or Faith motivating you? - VIDEO

What is Recovery Coaching?

Contact us today, and let's get you started on your journey to transformation.

Contact us here

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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

"If someone gives me a bunch of money..."

"When I feel better about myself..."

"When I get a better job..."

"When I get a new boyfriend/girlfriend..."

The list could go on. These are the types of things I told myself for 13yrs while I was lazy, did drugs, and drank. I told myself that I'd change when something BIG and awesome came my way.

When that happened, then I would better my life and do the work to progress and succeed. I had it all wrong, and as a result my life got worse for years.

1 min video of encouragement and insight

It was when I started making the small adjustments on a daily basis that my life started changing. The change seemed slow at first, but I continued taking responsibility, connecting with God, and stepping outside my comfort zone. As I did this my life got better and better.

Here are 3 tips to add small and beneficial adjustments to your life.

1- Morning Routine.

For over a decade I've been getting up before the sun. I read, I pray, I journal, and I mentally prepare for my day.

I can't always control what the day brings, but I can control my spiritual, mental, and emotional well being so that when the day comes at me I'm ready for it.

2- Keep a schedule.

I use my iPhone app. I put every single appointment, phone call, zoom meeting, lunch appointment, and fun dates with my family in my schedule. I used to juggle it all in my head, and it was stressful. Now that it's all in order I can set reminders, look over it the night before, and pray over it the morning of.

3- Keep Accountability Partners

When we have to answer for our actions on a continually basis it motivates us to do better. Regardless of the struggle you may be facing (be it recovery, starting a business, getting healthy) you'll benefit greatly from going on the journey with others that are striving for the same goal.

What is Recovery Coaching?

Contact us today, and let's get you started on your journey to transformation.

Contact us here

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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Relapse does not have to be part of your story.

Relapse can unfortunately be common with some people in recovery, but you don't have to buy into the thinking that you're going to relapse at some point.

Over 11 yrs into my recovery journey and having helped hundreds of people get clean and sober I have identified two time periods when people most often relapse. The first is the obvious, it's early recovery.

Years of active addiction put us on a course of creating, and avoiding problems.

That and the fact that changing from active addiction into healthy recovery is hard enough by itself and it can sometimes feel like the perfect storm. But no matter the mess someone has created, recovery is possible and the choice to recover is always the best one.

Struggling to step into recovery, and stay in recovery? Check out this amazing story of a friend of ours stepping into recovery after decades of active addiction.

The second time that I see people relapse is a not so obvious one, and that is when life gets good again. When life gets good again we can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking, "I got my life back in order. I can manage my drinking and using now."

Let's say you fall into one of these categories and you've relapsed, first of all it's OK. I'm not condoning a relapse, but you are still loved and recovery is still worth it. Also, know may have lost your sobriety date but you didn't lose the experience you gained.

If you're really ready to change, take accountability and responsibility as fast as you can. The sooner you face it, the sooner you get past it. Admit your wrongs and start getting back to what you know works.

One of the biggest things I emphasize with my clients when it comes to relapse prevention, or what to do if you relapsed, is the importance of daily habits and disciplines.

Just about every time I talk with someone that has relapsed I ask them what their daily spiritual fitness was like and almost always they admit that it was few and far between, or nonexistent.

If you feel yourself a bit of shape, spiritually speaking, the best way I have found to get back into clear thinking and actions is by getting back to the daily disciplines of reading, writing, praying, and talking with people in recovery.

So you might have relapsed, but you don't have to dig that hole deeper. Rock bottom is simple, it's where you decide to stop digging. Call someone and admit what's going on, and start getting back into spiritual shape today.

And remember this...

God loves you, forgives you, and wants you to be happy even more then you do. He is on your side. He is the best partner you'll ever have, and remember, "No one that matters is keeping track of your failures." - Mike Maeshiro

What is Recovery Coaching?

Contact us here - Recovery Coaching

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