• Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Updated: Oct 11, 2021

"If someone gives me a bunch of money..."

"When I feel better about myself..."

"When I get a better job..."

"When I get a new boyfriend/girlfriend..."

The list could go on. These are the types of things I told myself for 13yrs while I was lazy, did drugs, and drank. I told myself that I'd change when something BIG and awesome came my way.

When that happened, then I would better my life and do the work to progress and succeed. I had it all wrong, and as a result my life got worse for years.


1 min video of encouragement and insight


It was when I started making the small adjustments on a daily basis that my life started changing. The change seemed slow at first, but I continued taking responsibility, connecting with God, and stepping outside my comfort zone. As I did this my life got better and better.

Here are 3 tips to add small and beneficial adjustments to your life.

1- Morning Routine.

For over a decade I've been getting up before the sun. I read, I pray, I journal, and I mentally prepare for my day.

I can't always control what the day brings, but I can control my spiritual, mental, and emotional well being so that when the day comes at me I'm ready for it.

2- Keep a schedule.

I use my iPhone app. I put every single appointment, phone call, zoom meeting, lunch appointment, and fun dates with my family in my schedule. I used to juggle it all in my head, and it was stressful. Now that it's all in order I can set reminders, look over it the night before, and pray over it the morning of.

3- Keep Accountability Partners

When we have to answer for our actions on a continually basis it motivates us to do better. Regardless of the struggle you may be facing (be it recovery, starting a business, getting healthy) you'll benefit greatly from going on the journey with others that are striving for the same goal.


What is Recovery Coaching?

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Reach out for help if you or a loved one is struggling with mental health or addiction.

Banyan Treatment Centers

(866) 942-8154

Contact us for Sober Coaching or Speaking

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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Updated: Oct 11, 2021

Relapse does not have to be part of your story.

Relapse can unfortunately be common with some people in recovery, but you don't have to buy into the thinking that you're going to relapse at some point.

Over 11 yrs into my recovery journey and having helped hundreds of people get clean and sober I have identified two time periods when people most often relapse. The first is the obvious, it's early recovery.

Years of active addiction put us on a course of creating, and avoiding problems.

That and the fact that changing from active addiction into healthy recovery is hard enough by itself and it can sometimes feel like the perfect storm. But no matter the mess someone has created, recovery is possible and the choice to recover is always the best one.


Struggling to step into recovery, and stay in recovery? Check out this amazing story of a friend of ours stepping into recovery after decades of active addiction.


The second time that I see people relapse is a not so obvious one, and that is when life gets good again. When life gets good again we can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking, "I got my life back in order. I can manage my drinking and using now."

Let's say you fall into one of these categories and you've relapsed, first of all it's OK. I'm not condoning a relapse, but you are still loved and recovery is still worth it. Also, know may have lost your sobriety date but you didn't lose the experience you gained.

If you're really ready to change, take accountability and responsibility as fast as you can. The sooner you face it, the sooner you get past it. Admit your wrongs and start getting back to what you know works.

One of the biggest things I emphasize with my clients when it comes to relapse prevention, or what to do if you relapsed, is the importance of daily habits and disciplines.

Just about every time I talk with someone that has relapsed I ask them what their daily spiritual fitness was like and almost always they admit that it was few and far between, or nonexistent.

If you feel yourself a bit of shape, spiritually speaking, the best way I have found to get back into clear thinking and actions is by getting back to the daily disciplines of reading, writing, praying, and talking with people in recovery.

So you might have relapsed, but you don't have to dig that hole deeper. Rock bottom is simple, it's where you decide to stop digging. Call someone and admit what's going on, and start getting back into spiritual shape today.

And remember this...

God loves you, forgives you, and wants you to be happy even more then you do. He is on your side. He is the best partner you'll ever have, and remember, "No one that matters is keeping track of your failures." - Mike Maeshiro


What is Recovery Coaching?

Follow us here -

Recovering Reality Facebook

Recovering Reality Instagram

Recovering Reality Podcast

Recovering Reality YouTube

Reach out for help if you or a loved one is struggling with mental health or addiction.

Banyan Treatment Centers

(866) 942-8154

Contact us for Sober Coaching or Speaking

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  • Erik Frederickson - Life Coach and Recovery Coach

Christmas is a beautiful time. Family time, dinner party’s, and friends are a familiar theme. But for some people, especially people in early recovery, holidays can trigger some rough memories and feelings.

If this is you, know that you are not alone.

I recall blurry holidays filled with inebriated episodes of self-centered chaos. My thirteen years of active addiction were layered with empty and depressed Holiday seasons. Whether I was surrounded with my family that loved me or willingly isolating myself while consuming whatever substances I could get my hands on, I was empty and alone and often questioning if living was worth it.

Now over eleven years into my journey of freedom and recovery and Christmas is filled with fun, family, and joyous gatherings. If you’re not there yet in your recovery, don’t worry, it gets easier.

I can now go to parties with people drinking and not have a second thought or be even remotely triggered. The same reality is available for you, but for now here are some simple and practical tips to remaining free and victorious during the next few weeks.

1- Stay Connected to God

God understands, and God wants your Christmas season to be special even more then you do. The power needed to remain strong this time of year is fully available. Your part, spend time with The One who has all the power.

We all need downtime, but are you isolating or relaxing? Granted this year has forced many of us into isolation, we can still be intentional and step outside of our comfort zone to connect with friends and family.

Isolation can position you to stew in some dangerous mindsets. PICK UP THE PHONE! Call someone else in recovery, they want to help. Much of recovery is learning to do the right thing whether you feel like it or not.

It’s easy to do the right thing when you feel like it, but real change and recovery take place when you learn to do what you know you should do even if you don’t feel like doing it.

2- Go to meetings, and/or be around people that understand what you’re going through.

12 Step meetings have people who understand the madness that can sometimes go on in the mind of an addict or alcoholic, especially in early recovery. Don’t wait for everything to be the way you think it should be. Pick up the phone and call someone, being intentional and reaching out to people that you can talk with will lighten your load.

My first year of recovery I lived with people who had significant clean time, I went to an average of 2 meetings a day, and I went out of my way to help people that were new in recovery. Early on, my life depended upon this.

3- Think Solution, Not Problem

What you dwell on in your thinking you grant permission to play out through your actions. Almost always the list of good things happening in your life is much longer than the list of problems. Which are you focusing on?

The good, or the bad?

If you are facing some serious problems, it’s common in early recovery, all you have to do is know the next step you need to take and take it. All you can do is your part, and let God do for you what you can’t do for yourself. If you’re having trouble seeing and believing it, be around someone that will believe for you and encourage you into your own victory.

Writing a gratitude list can also be extremely helpful.


Something amazing happens when you freely give away what was freely given to you. The idea that you give to gain makes no sense to the person that hasn’t made this paradoxical paradise part of their daily lifestyle.

You may feel like you have nothing of substance to give. But I promise you that no matter where you are at in your recovery, there is someone struggling worse than you and you have hope to give them.

Think spontaneous and practical. What are your talents? Where can you freely give your talents to help others? Maybe you have money to give, send some money to someone that you know needs it.

Maybe you have time to give. Find a soup kitchen, or homeless shelter and ask if you can donate your time to help.

Maybe someone you know needs a ride somewhere, and the list could go on. Getting outside yourself and helping brighten someone else’s Christmas season will paradoxical brighten yours.


Erik Frederickson is a Certified Life and Recovery Coach. He has clients all over the world and he is considered an expert at helping people transform their life in powerful ways.

Contact Erik HERE -

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Addiction should be taken serious and often times treatment is needed to start the journey of recovery. If you, or a loved one, are in need of professional help from a rehab, don't wait.

Here is a very well respected treatment center based out of Florida that has helped countless people step into healthy recovery. or call and talk with someone now at 866-942-8154

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